Fishing for Beginners Proofreading Results

| Jan 1, 0001

Fishing for Beginners v4 — Proofreading Review

The PDF contains scanned/image-based pages, so this review is based on the visible text. Page references below use the printed page numbers in the document.

Definite spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors

Printed page Text Recommended correction Issue
8 Fish Lure: : Fish Lure: Duplicate colon
9 This is the absolute pinnacle of difficulty, catching any creature on a plain hook requires... This is the absolute pinnacle of difficulty. Catching any creature on a plain hook requires... Comma splice
17 until the iron strikes solid stone until the iron strikes the target (or another intended object) The stated action appears to contradict the instruction to spear the prey
18 a crab looking animal a crab-looking animal Missing hyphen in a compound modifier
18 It then turns to face it's target It then turns to face its target Incorrect possessive contraction
18 Their claws crush whatever is in them... They are slow... Its claws crush whatever is in them... It is slow... Singular creature is described with inconsistent plural pronouns
23 ...allowing them to emerge, allowing them to be eliminated from the area.. ...allowing them to emerge and be eliminated from the area. Repeated wording and double period
24 a high stakes mechanical tug of war a high-stakes mechanical tug-of-war Missing hyphens in compound modifiers
24 ...do not attempt a standard, gentle reeling motion, instead, widen your stance... ...do not attempt a standard, gentle reeling motion; instead, widen your stance... Comma splice
26 ...currents that churn continuously ... do not merely settle into the clay trenches, they are actively absorbed... ...currents that churn continuously ... do not merely settle into the clay trenches; they are actively absorbed... Comma splice
27 highly sought after anomalies highly sought-after anomalies Missing hyphen in a compound adjective
30 lost to the either lost to the ether Incorrect word
30 monsters,to whom monsters, to whom Missing space after comma
30 those that bought this book those who bought this book “Who” is preferred for people

Grammar and wording improvements

Printed page Text Suggested revision Reason
8 By realistic imitation of a frantic baitfish... Through realistic imitation of a frantic baitfish... or By realistically imitating a frantic baitfish... “By realistic imitation” is awkward and unidiomatic
10 the absolute second a creature is pulled free the exact moment a creature is pulled free “Absolute second” is unclear wording
13 freezing, pitch black layers freezing, pitch-black layers Compound adjective should be hyphenated
15 items that carry no immediate marketplace value items that have no immediate market value More natural wording
17 low-crouching physical stealth a low crouch and physical stealth Awkward compound construction
21 possess thick, calcified carapaces or high-density muscle tissue that makes them hard or impossible to penetrate the hard outer shell Recast to avoid repeating hard, for example: possess thick, calcified carapaces or dense muscle tissue that makes them difficult or impossible to penetrate Repetition and unclear construction
22 treating the rod and bait as an engineered machinery stack treating the rod and bait as an engineered machine or as an engineered system “Machinery stack” is an unclear metaphor in context
22 re-enforces the line reinforces the line “Reinforces” is the standard word for strengthening the line
30 a twice done labor of love a labor of love done twice or a twice-completed labor of love Current phrasing is awkward

Consistency issues to resolve

  1. Capitalization of people/species and legal terms: Human is capitalized on page 28, while human is lowercase elsewhere (pages 10 and 28). Decide whether Human, Kinfolk, and similar terms are formal group names and apply the choice consistently. Likewise, Theft and Physical Property are capitalized as legal terms on page 10, but ordinary lowercase property appears elsewhere.
  2. Rod terminology: The document uses pole fishing rod, Pole Fishing Rod, giging pole, willow rod, cane rod, and fishing pole. Standardize capitalization and decide whether these are distinct item names or general descriptions.
  3. Fly terminology: White Feather Fly and Colored Feather Fly are title-cased item names, but later references use lowercase white feather fly and colored feather fly (page 24). Use one convention.
  4. Compound hyphenation: Review terms such as bottom-dwelling, low-lying, high-stakes, pitch-black, sought-after, crab-looking, and tug-of-war throughout the book and apply a consistent style.
  5. Water terminology: water table is used for the setting’s open waters and also resembles the standard geological term for underground water. Consider using a distinct fictional term if these are intended to mean different things.
  6. Point of view and pronouns: Singular creatures are sometimes described with it and sometimes with they/their (especially the Mucklurker on page 18). Choose a consistent approach, including whether singular they is intentional.
  7. Typography: Curly apostrophes and straight apostrophes are mixed (water’s versus water's, for example). Standardize punctuation and apostrophe style across the document.

Minor style notes

  • The title page uses title case (A Guide To Successful Fishing In Katalossa), while the section headings are mostly uppercase. This is not incorrect, but a consistent capitalization policy would improve polish.
  • Several sentences use intentionally dramatic or fictional language. The review does not treat unusual world-building terms such as Shadowbrand, Bog Hag, Gravel Gator, or Katalossa as spelling errors.
  • The dedication contains sentence fragments (To my dog..., To my cat...). These can be retained as a deliberate dedication style, but they should be rewritten as complete sentences if strict grammatical prose is desired.